Acknowledgment & positive feedback of your child’s progress
After a fairly intense round of IDP’s , one really needs to reflect on the values and lessons inherent in the process. There certainly is value in parents and school communicating and formulating goals and strategies for your child. A “keyhole” view into parents’ lives and minds often enables us as a school to adapt our approaches from an informed base.
But, we often forget the “guests of honour” at these occasions – our children.
Children work toward goals and achievements, with varying amounts of success, just like adults. Hearing encouragement and positive feedback about performance can be a powerful motivator. Providing support by acknowledging a child’s accomplishments can help the child feel successful and empowered to continue to achieve goals and meet objectives, but empty praise can have a negative effect instead. Try these strategies to re – inforce the positives in your child’s life.
Recognise your child’s efforts and hard work — not just the end result. For example, saying “Wow! I can really see how hard you worked on that drawing!” over focusing on the end result through praise such as “You got an A! Super job!” is more effective because it enables the child to develop his own opinion of his end results. You are acknowledging your chi ld’s efforts and accomplishments in a positive manner without placing judgement on the final result.
Make your acknowledgement of your child’s accomplishment specific and detailed . Generic descriptors such as “great” or “nice” lack specifics, and therefore fall flat. Instead, notice specific details of how your child reorganised her room or shared with her brother.
Deliver your acknowledgement to your child in private. A private conversation ensures that no comparisons occur, which could lead to manipulation from your child and jealousy from other children. Your one – on – one conversation can be every bit as powerful and effective to impart your positive message to your child.
Don’t wait for big accomplishments. A large goal or assignment often seems less ove rwhelming when someone breaks it up into smaller pieces. Children can find this especially helpful. Whenever you see your child working hard toward a large goal, celebrate the successes along the way. For example, when a child is learning to read, the firs t time she sounds out a word can be worthy of encouraging words. Ask your child what she thinks of her accomplishment. Asking your child’s opinion encourages him to evaluate himself and his efforts. This self – evaluation is important for building strong self – esteem. You might say, “Did you have fun? How do you think that went? Do you want to do it again?” You can also agree with him as he expresses positive emotions about his accomplishments.
So… in this crazy, rushed and device dictated world, spend time celebrating your child’s achievements and mine that rich vein of pleasure that lies within each of them.